Taking a break...

Well, I personally cancelled my IUI this time. I just don't feel emotionally strong enough this month. My "stab in the heart" episode has left me...well...not strong enough to handle another disappointment right now.

Its not just because of that either...my sister is getting married in two months...and if I do the injectibles it sounds like I may gain more weight...which would be in the pictures that would be hanging on the walls forEVER...so I just imagine myself being fat and STILL not preggo...(because that's pretty much where I'm at right now)...and I think I should at least wait...until after the wedding. This way I can try to get back into a good workout routine, and not be bogged down by infertility drugs.

Its a hard thing to "turn off"...my desire to try to have children. And I know that if I do have endo, it will only get worse and my chances will get worse. I really have mixed feelings about my decision...I'm very comfortable with the idea of waiting...and yet I'm tired of waiting. *sigh*

I think its for the best though. So in an effort to do whats best for me I think I'm going to be checking in on you girls every once in a while...but not posting as often (at least about IF stuff)...who knows...maybe I'll decide later that I'm going to start trying again before the wedding...but right this second, I'm not ready.

Sorry for being vague again about my situation. Please keep me in your prayers...you all are still in mine!

Without saying too much....

Someone I hold dear disappointed me quite severely (stab in the heart putting it lightly)...so my weekend went like this:

Friday- fever/stuffy nose/sinus headache

Saturday- stuffy nose/sinus headache

Sunday- stab in heart/stuffy nose/sinus headache

Monday- still "wounded"/stuffy nose/AF comes

Yeah. What a winning weekend! Good thing I had three whole days to fit that all in! I don't know why I left that little...teaser post....but I was feeling really bad and just wanted to get that out there...once again, without saying too much. But things are better now...at least trying to be on the mend...thought I had enough good cries being an IF girl...put that together with bad news and WOW....right now my eyes are like the Sahara (after Niagra Falls of course!)! And I have to get observed at work this week...just the icing on the cake!

Still trying to count it all joy...because I haven't prayed quite like I've prayed in the past 24 hours...and now I'm definitely feeling God's peace and comfort. Nice to know you don't have to go it alone... :o)

Sorry for all the suspense...and the vague answer!!!!

Yes, you know my monthly cycle, but a girls gotta keep some secrets you know! *wink*

Don't ask questions....

that you don't want to know the answer to.

You ever done that? Asked a question....and then instantly regretted it because ignorance is bliss? Yeah I'm there.

SO there.

Happy Valentines Day!! AHCHOOO!!

Happy Valentines Day!

I'm not going to be a very good Valentine today...I'm sick sick sick! I left work early yesterday with a 101.4 fever...BAD sinus headache....and just achy all over really. It actually isn't too bad...better than having the flu because I can eat what I want and keep it down! I'm still pretty stuffed up today, but no fever so that's good.

Hope you all have a wonderful, relaxing and romantic day! :o)

Nothing to post...

Well, I've had absolutely nothing to post the past few days...life has just been chugging along as usual! I did want to say that I am praying for you girls and hope that you find peace no matter where you are in your journey! This hammock is for you! :o) Sit, relax and savor the day that the Lord has made!

2 Thessalonians 3:16

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.

Colossians 3:15

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.

Wow....

Really didn't know what to title this post. I didn't want to say that it was weird...but it is. Here's the scoop...

I had this friend in high school, we went to the same church, same youth group and everything. Haven't talked to her since I left for college. I've heard through the grapevine that she is now a missionary. I didn't realize it, but she's my friend on Facebook. I do NOT post anything IF related on Facebook...just mainly pictures of all my dogs! ;o)

So I get this message from her yesterday, through Facebook, and it says:

Hi,

You've been on my mind lately so what else do you do with that but pray. So dear you have been in my prayers. I pray that you are encouraged through whatever hardships you may be experiencing in life right now....you do have the gift of nurturing. I experienced that being your friend in highschool...... I just want to stand with you and recognize that you have wonderful qualities for being a mother and that God sees this and hears this in your heart.....This has just been in my heart hope I'm not too off base....and that it does encourage you for that was my goal in sending this message.

Love,
E

HUH?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did she know??!! I called my parents (they still talk to her mom) and asked if they had shared my IF struggles with her mom (which I wouldn't have been too happy about!) but they said that they hadn't.....so pretty much God laid my problem...little insignificant, speck of dust me....He laid MY problem on an old friend's heart so that she would pray for me. WOW.

Its so weird because just the other day when I was reading that Luke verse... I was thinking about how scared Mary must have been when an angel suddenly appeared to her...I was like "God...I don't know what I would do if an angel appeared in my bedroom right now...I'd freak out!!!"

But the fact that E knew what I was struggling with...well I'm a bit freaked out. In a good way...but still freaking.

Maybe she's my angel. Maybe God is using her to say "Look, I haven't forgotten about you. I see your tears. I know you're frustrated. But my timing is perfect...be patient."

Wow.