I definitely needed this three day weekend....this was the worst week of my life. I felt sooooooo awful...nauseous, sinus headache...dry heaving all the time....really tired. And hubby was out of town for the whole week...so I had no one to take care of me. I never realized how spoiled I really am.
I'm still nauseous...pretty much from morning until early evening. It is not fun. I try to eat and eat...and to eat good healthy stuff...but half the time only the non-healthy stuff will go down. (Pizza for lunch....chicken tenders for dinner...nice) I did squeeze in an apple...and a yogurt smoothie...but ugh...I'm tired of feeling sick. At least I'm not vomiting....but maybe that would make me feel better? I dunno.
I had a horrible nightmare last night. I dreamed that my babies didn't make it. I went and got a d&c...and then I had to call all my family and tell them that the babies were gone. It was a very graphic and horrifying dream. I kept rubbing my belly...just like I do now...to feel my baby bump...and while it was still there, I knew I was empty. It was the most horrible feeling in the world.
Why am I dreaming dreams like this? Why am I not dreaming about holding my little ones? In the back of my mind I'm scared of what could be...but I hope that's not the predominant thought thats running through my head. Though my dreams would say that it is.
We've bought stuff for our little ones (at the yard sale)...but I still feel like I can't run into the store and buy something....and I haven't told everyone at work (though everyone has pretty much figured it out)...I feel like I can't tell until I'm 12 weeks...but maybe I should just spill the beans...that way I can feel like a "normal" pregnant girl...instead of one waiting for something horrible to happen and not telling just in case.
Not sure where all this negativity is coming from...maybe because I'm exhausted...and getting over being sick. I'm too tired to do anything fun...so I just sit around the house mainly. Maybe I need to try to get out and have some fun. I wanted to go to church this morning...but the nausea was too bad...I couldn't get in the shower. I don't know what to eat or what to do to make it better...and I'm tired of "suffering through it" to get to work...seriously...its bad when you're trying to teach and your throat is open and ready to projectile vomit at any second...or at least it feels that way.
Okay okay...I'm complaining way too much. I've always wanted to be preggo...and I'm blessed with being doubly preggo...but I am hoping that the second tri gives some relief...and that I can enjoy feeling actually pregnant instead of feeling like I have a sickness that I just can't kick!
Maybe I'll go buy myself some comfy maternity pants...I think its about that time. Its so uncomfortable now...and the belly band is ok sometimes...but I want to be completely comfy!! And I need some new pj/lounge pants...all mine are getting too tight in the waist...and they're elastic!! yikes!
Here I am at 10 weeks...I think I'm rounding out a bit more....the little bump is almost as far out as the big bloat one...lol.
Oh! And only one more day of INSERTS!!!!!!!!!! YAYAYAYYAYY!!!! I'm so over those nasty things!!!!!!!!! Yuck yuck yuck!!! I know I was so blessed to not have to do the shots...but the inserts are definitely nasty!!
DH asked me the other day if it was wonderful not having a period...and I told him that I didn't miss the pain I was in, but now I just feel sick ALL THE TIME....and I'm pretty much shoving a "tampon" in twice a day...and wearing pantiliners 24/7 so I may as well be on my period!!
Once again...yay for a three day weekend!
5 comments:
I have the same fears...I think everyone does at some point, but the fact that we're so close to 12 weeks is a milestone!!! I am so sorry you have been so sick. I wake up feeling sick for about an hour & then, am fine. Thank goodness b/c I have a 7 year old to keep up with. Have you asked your Dr. for the morning sickness meds? & def. get yourself some maternity pants girl! I started wearing mine at week 7 b/c the bloat I had from the OHSS was so bad...
I'm sorry you're feeling so yucky! It's not fair is it? You think after the IVF raging hormones that things will settle down. Then you have prego-fun and then sleepless nights after they are born! Argh! Hope you feel better.
You are totally entitled to "complain"- although I prefer to say vent- this is the hardest thing you've ever done, and it helps get through it to get it all out, so you can keep on doing the things you need to do, like teach. Remember- you've got twice as much hormones raging in your body right now- it is totally ok to be down sometimes too! I know I have been! Hang in there- the teaching with nausea will get better really soon!
awww! that is awesome! I am so excited for you baby bump! WOO HOOO! I just don't know if that bloat is going to go away...well rather by the time it does, it will be replaced with baby! :) YIPPPEEE!!!
I am sorry you are feeling bad, and having fears. I have seen a lot of newly IF preggos talking about having bad dreams- it seems normal. Good luck sweetpea!!!!
You look exactly like I did when I took a picture of my tummy for the first time when I was pregnant with you. I remember I felt awful with morning sickness until I was in the beginning of my 2nd trimester, so hopefully in a couple weeks your morning sickness will be less to none. Hang in there! It will all be worth it when you hold those little ones. We are definitely going shopping for comfy clothes when I get out there. Love you, Mom
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