Good news or bad news first?

Hmmm...well I'll give you the bad news first I suppose.

Had my Drs appointment today and pretty much he said that I was not progressing and that he doesn't think this cycle would be a good one for us to do the insemination with. He said that my endometrial lining looks great though. (ummm...yay?) He then told me to call him when I start my cycle and we will try a higher dose of clomid.

I was like "Ummm..can we cut it out with the clomid already??? ITS NOT WORKING!!!"

Don't they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again? Well thats what I'm starting to feel with this guy. Anyhoo, he seemed ok with injectibles and so we will be moving on to that in my next cycle. Turns out my insurance will cover the cost of the injectibles so I'm okay there (thank you anyways Ashley!!).

With this cycle being a bust I was a little disappointed, and yet...I'm getting pretty used to disappointment...in the area of fertility anyway. *sigh*

And so my thoughts turn to adoption....

And the GOOD news...

You know that we have been trying to save money...for....maybe a month now. As I said, my house is COLD...my fridge is BARE...my house is CLEAN (cuz I don't go anywhere!!). Pretty much my bank statement says "Bills....gas....grocery store...bills....grocery store...gas...Panera Bread (oops...)....bills..." I haven't been to the mall...too much temptation. Pretty much a major life change for me (I'm so going to see that movie Shopaholic because that's who I am!!)...

As I've also said, I've been praying about the $$$$ thing...and then we get money from this puppy (which truly...that breeder owed us NOTHING...we signed no contract...she just wanted to give us a dog!!) and then DH does the taxes today. That made me really nervous. Last year we'd only owned our house for 5 months and ended up owing 2,000. We were freaking out because...well...we didn't have that laying around. So this year, since we'd been saving (for the past month...ha ha...) and we actually had that amount set aside just in case....

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WE ARE GETTING $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ BACK THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY FOR OWNING A HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So we can pay off our Home Depot loan (our fridge and washer/dryer) and be DEBT FREE!!!!!!

SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!

God is just amazing me with the ways that He is providing for us. I pray that we are good stewards of this blessing...because it is SURE tempting when I see ads for 60% off Sandals resort trips on the tv....and I need a tan!!! (be...strong...)

I was reading my Bible yesterday about when Gabriel came to Mary to tell her that she was going to be concieving. Gabriel also told her that her relative Elizabeth (an OLD lady by the way....who had no children) was with child and said:

"Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:36-37

NOTHING is impossible. Talk about some encouraging words. NOTHING. Not me concieving. Not a $40,000 adoption.

Will my plans for my life be the same as Gods? Probably not. I've heard someone say "Want to make God laugh? Tell Him your plans!" But I know that God does want us to share with Him the desires of our hearts...and if I am seeking Him, and patiently (ooh that's a hard one) waiting on Him...I will understand more of what He wants from my life...what direction I am supposed to go in.

Nothing is impossible...